All I can do in the season in my life is be thankful! I was crying earlier today because I am so overwhelmed by what He has been doing. I know it has been a while since I have blogged, and this is my weak attempt to catch you up. Words really just cannot describe the incredible joy I have. I am tired everyday but every second is more that worth it! The Lord has taken me from one of the hardest and driest seasons of my life last semester to the most fruitful time I have ever experienced.
Last semester I lost 20 pounds strictly from stress and depression, I was in my own personal hell and only one person knew it. My parents got a divorce after 28 years of marriage and it shook my world. Everything they have taught me was no longer valued. I felt like I was going to lose my parents and my brothers and sisters and all I could do was sleep, cry and pray. My problem had become bigger than God in my eyes and my heart was aching. I covered it up with friendship and relationships and had false joy and to my greatest attempt to be strong in my own strength. In that hard season I heard a message and one line the pastor shared has not left me, it was God promising me something that I now understand. The pastor said, “The hardest winters bring the best harvest.”
My hard winter has turned into the greatest harvest!
This Summer everything began to shift, my dependence was on the Lord again. I was craving His presence and word. Day by day burdens were becoming light, I learned the art of casting all my anxiety on Him. I was feeling Him so close everyday and He was restoring my joy again.
I knew at the beginning of this semester that this was going to be my harvest, I remembered the Lord’s promise for me. I had no idea it would be this incredible. For starters, last month I was given a new car. GIVEN!I didn’t pay a dime for it! It’s an 08 Hyundai Accent and only had 64,000 miles on it!(I named her Layla) A woman in the church felt like the Lord was telling her to give her car to someone and got in touch with the church and my leadership and they chose me to receive that incredible blessing! On top of that, my old car sold for $800 only 2 weeks later, which has gone straight to paying off my tuition. PTL!
Also, I have stepped into more responsibility with worship, they I am thrilled about! It blows my mind that Church of the Highlands trusts me with a microphone and lead God’s children into worship. Last week I had the honor of leading a song at our All Staff Meeting, where all of the staff from all campus’ join and worship, hear a word and fellowship together. I lead worship for all the pastors and staff and got the thumbs up from my Worship Pastor. Just a few weeks ago my senior pastor, Pastor Chris sat in on a Highlands College Chapel and gave me knucks and said, “you got pipes!” Haha! That was huge for me! I got to lead Mark Zschech(Darlene Zschech’s husband) into worship. And last night my life and calling all made sense when I led Place of Freedom for over 2,000 youth at Motion Night.
Two and a half years ago I cam to motion and wanted to be on that stage and lead worship and last night that along with prophesies that have been spoken over me took place. I was so nervous but as soon I stood in front and opened my mouth I have never been so comfortable and so sure that THIS is what I was created for. It was incredible and I will never forget it, because I will spend my life in awe of being called to do that.
My hardest winter was worth it all! and greatest thing of all, I have forgiven my parents, my siblings and I are still close and my heart is so softened to all of them. God restores so much and it is only by His grace that my life is where its at. I know that I am going hit hard winters again maybe harder than last semesters, but seeing the fruit of this time around will keep me going.
That is me leading front stage living out my purpose last night! Amazing huh?